The Tight Tan Slacks of Dezso Ban: The Hepburn-based Approach That Works for Me

This is my offshoot variation of Hepburn-based training that I prefer the most. Based? It works for me, and allows me to lift as often as I prefer and still make some progress, or at least stave off the decline of older age and loss of strength. I'm on the dark side of 68 years at this silly point, having started this crazy game in 1968. I lift six or seven days a week with this one, with short-for-me sessions, and take off a day any time I feel it's needed. I also sometimes do two sessions a day if I have the time, energy and inclination with this layout.

All I can say in response to whatever slings, barbs and arrows you smarter types might have is . . .

IT DEPENDS.

On soooo many things. Individual things. Things of many natures.

Things. Like a walk in the park. A kiss in the dark. And even some simpler, more obvious things like nutrition, genetics, recuperative abilities, genetics, free time, genetics, rest, genetics, stress, genetics.

All these things that affect every part of our lives mental and physical.

Eh.

Okay. Plus a "whatever" for added measure.

Here . . .

Train every day at the outset. Take a day or three off when you honestly need it. Stay calm when you can, rant and rave when you can't. Set your head aflame if it helps. Eat plenty of food and I don't give a crap what you eat and neither should you give one about what I eat. Except for that one fella I know via years of emails.

It's a one-lift-a-day deal. If you're not familiar with this idea, stop reading now and find out more about it. Or not. It's not my life you're living, and I ain't livin' yours.

I will lay out the set/rep scheme first . . .

Warm up, duh, then work up to a single. YOU have to determine how close to a training max you want to come with this, not me. Don't start too high and burn out straight outta the gate. If you don't know how to determine your starting weights for this thing you shouldn't be doing this thing. Things. Yes. Thinkin' 'bout the things we need to do. Just make it a wee bit tough but nowhere near grinding at all for this thing. Call it an RPE of 8 dimwitts laughing, or nine pipers piping, or even seven dindu joggers running (over innocent people in Christmas parades). Easy, fool. This is not your life, it's mine. My choice of worldview. Odd how that even has to be said. Imagine, just for a fleeting moment what the headlines would be, what the streets would be, if some White asshole intentionally ploughed into 40 people and killed five at a small town Kwanzaa parade . . . what lives matter? Hypocrites and racists, through and through, the lot of ya. Now go away and stop reading my blog. Your fucked up worldview is not wanted here. You are not welcome here. Are you deaf? Go! Get outta my fucking house.

And now, where the hell were I. Ah yes, lifting throughout it all . . .

One single. Next time at this lift, do 2 singles . . . on up to the day where you're doing 5 singles with this weight. Don't start too high, moron.

Strip off 20% (this will vary, it depends - see above). Do a triple, then 4 sets of 2's. Next session on this lift do 2 triples and 3 sets of 2's. If you're not completely familiar with the Hepburn deal go away, read up on the thing, use that brain thing-a yours and then come back here and join me. Things. You see where this is going . . . once you reach 5 sets of triples, add weight next session on this lift and start back at 3,2,2,2,2.

Strip off another 20% and that condom you forgot you were still wearing, and do two sets of 6 reps. Next session on this lift do a set of 7 and a set of 6, working to 2 sets of 8 reps.

The 20% drops are what work for me at this point. Your stripping is not my stripping, Amigo.

You can probably see that it all reaches a point of adding more weight at the same time, all three set/rep protocols reach the beauty of complete fruition with their respective loads, as a pain in the ass lifter with a penchant for the weak double entendre might say . . .

at 5 singles, 5 sets of triples, and 2 sets of 8.

This is a very gradual approach, patience is utmost, along with a desire to get with a bar every day.

Here's the exercises I use, usually, and you will have to find your own. Not that I own these ones, I'm just sayin' you'll have to find your own favorites, your most productive blah blah blah on and on with the same newbie bore. Find out, come back. Or not.

Day One - Press. I prefer the regular standing bareback barbell press now that that condom's off.

Day Two - Squat. I prefer the Oly squat.

Day Three - Curl. I like a regular curl with an Oly bar. Most times on this session I'll do some triceps thing between the curl sets. Hey, come on. It's a fucking curl. Big deal.

Day Four - BB Row. Heaven forbid one might do these the day following some curling! I like the regular BB row, not touching the bar to ground between reps and keeping a flat back at a very, very slight angle.

Day Five - Bench. I can't do these for any long period of time with this type of layout so I go with low incline DB presses taken from DB hooks. Do what you like. Take a look at an open book. Like I care. It's your shoulder girdle.

Day Six - Regular Deadlift. What's to say?

There.

And don't rest too long between sets. You should know by now what 'too long' means to you in this instance, depending on exactly what it is you're after with it. Not what someone told you . . . WHAT YOU KNOW IN YOUR BODY FROM EXPERIENCE TO DATE. Not that experience of reading something or "thinking" about something. Real experience in the real world of YOU doing it.

Recap: Lift every day. One exercise a day. Don't bust a gut, accumulate fatigue.

1 single . . . working to 5 singles.
A set of 3 reps; and 4 sets of doubles . . . working to 5 sets of 3's.
2 sets of 6 . . . working to 2 sets of 8.
Very simple, very straightforward stuff.

Enjoy Your Lifting!

P.S. Things. Quite a song, the Bobby Darin version. Seen "Pressure Point" yet?

The 1962 film with Bobby Darin, Sydney Poitier and Peter Falk?

It's quite a filmic thing . . .