Tuesday, August 19, 2025

Developing Stubborn Calves - Peary Rader (1948)



                                                              Here's two interesting photos I found in older mags . . . 






                                                                                           Some calves from long ago . . . 




                                                                                              and not so long ago . . . 



                                                                   4.5 x bodyweight, three walkouts, then the lift . . . 





Note: This is a two-parter from Peary. The first scintillating installment dealt with calf anatomy and the functions of the various calf muscles. You can teach yourself that with a little time, patience, energy and an anatomy text. 


The second part begins . . .   


We have been told by many authorities that the tissues of the calf muscles have become dense and tough from so much walking, standing and other activities that one indulges in from time to time. Whether this is correct or not it has been  found that best results in calf development are secured after staying off the feet for some time previous to doing calf specialization and during that  specialization period. The reason for this is to allow the calf muscles to soften up a bit to where they will be more responsive to exercise and also to allow them the opportunity for full recuperation after the strenuous workouts necessary. 

So, advice for those about to embark on this program is to stay off the feet as much as possible during this period. Walk as little as possible as this has a tendency in most people to keep calves slender. Of course after your specialization period is over and you have acquired satisfactory calf development you can again return to other activities. 

It may be necessary to go through two or three specialized sessions of specialization before you receive the desired results. We suggest a specialization period of from 6 weeks to 2 months, then a softening up period (layoff) of two or three weeks, then another heavy specialization period and so on until the desired results are obtained. 

Most fellows who have limited time and energy might find it necessary to drop some of their other exercises during this period in order to have sufficient time and energy to devote to this special work while others with little else to do but work out and rest will be able to add this to their present program. 

We have found that calf exercise consumes considerable energy considering the muscle mass involved, so don't do so many other exercises that you go stale because to obtain results in calf exercise you HAVE TO WORK THEM HARD. You've got to DRIVE them and FORCE them. They will swell up with blood until they feel ready to burst and they will ache but you've got to keep right on giving them the works. Of course you will not start right in with these heavy workouts or you will become so lame you won't be able to get around, so work up to them gradually. It won't take too long. 


CALF EXERCISES

We have a lot of fine exercises that we are about to tell you about -- many of them haven't been published before. You can try them and make a choice of several for your program. Some of them you will find more effective than others. 





Since the Gastrocnemius muscle is the most prominent in the calf and is the one most of you are interested in developing we will start with exercises for it. Almost any exercise that will work the Gastrocnemius will also work the Soleus muscle. However, this does not mean that any exercise will work the Soleus will also work the Gastrocnemius effectively.  Because, altho both muscles are attached to the Achilles tendon [see illustration above], the Gastrocnemius is attached to the thigh bone or femur while the upper end of the Soleus is attached to the two lower leg bones. 

Therefore, when the entire leg is straight at the knee both muscles can function, but when the leg is bent upon itself as when sitting down only the Soleus muscle can function effectively. 

You can feel these two actions in your own calf. Straighten your leg and point the toe and you will find both muscles strongly contracted. Now, while sitting down, raise the heel and come up high on the toes against resistance and you will find that the Gastrocnemius is soft while the Soleus is strongly contracted. 

We therefore come to the conclusion that exercises with the leg bent will benefit the Gastrocnemius muscle very little, but that it works the Soleus muscle strongly. 

On the other foot, er, hand, you will find that if we perform our exercises with the knee straight it will affect both muscles strongly. If you have the time and energy we advise BOTH types of exercise but if you are short on time we believe it best to perform the exercises with the leg straight. 

Now, to go further in the discussion you will notice that the Gastrocnemius muscle, because it is fastened to the thigh bone or femur has the action of helping bend the knee. Because of  this fact we must also give consideration to exercises that have this action. 

We will start with the most common exercise for these muscle. This is the raise on toes with weight on shoulders or in hands. Bodybuilders have been performing this exercise ever since barbells were invented. However, because of improper performance many of them failed to get results and in some quarters the exercise has fallen into disrepute. When properly performed it is one of the very best. 

Too often you see fellows doing this exercise on the flat floor which fails to give complete action to the calf muscles and as a general rule they allow the body to swing and thereby rob the muscles of much of the effort of strenuous contraction. 

In our gym here at Iron Man headquarters . . . 


   . . . we have used two methods of overcoming these defects. We always find it desirable to place the toes at the ball of the foot on the edge of a three-inch block of wood. This allows for complete extension of the muscles as well as complete contraction which is necessary for faster development. 

Now in order to avoid the swinging motion and "cheating" we follow the simple expedient of backing up to a smooth post in the gym or even a door jamb. Place the hips against this support so that when you raise up and down on the toes your hips will slide up and down against the post. This will eliminate all swing and place the whole effort on the two calf muscles under discussion. 




Because many of the muscles on the back of the calf are also connected to the toes you will find it wise to bear down hard with the toes when performing the raise on toes. This will give further development of the underlying muscles. You will find it wise to do these raises on toes with the feet turned in, straight ahead, and also out. This will affect the muscles in a different manner and also reach certain of the smaller underlying muscles more effectively. Follow this practice of different positions in all your calf exercises. 

We also show an illustration of another lever arrangement that we developed in our gym to prevent the sway and make work more effective.
     



This lever device can also be used for the deep knee bend on toes and other exercises where swing is undesirable or where difficulty of balance detracts from your mental concentration on the exercise. This machine we believe was originated in the Tony Sansone gym.

We suggest 15-20 repetitions of this raise on toes and you can eventually work up to 4 or 5 sets of this exercise. Do not use so much weight that can't perform the exercise correctly but use enough for amply resistance. You will be surprised at how little you can use compared to the old swinging style. You will find this to be one of best exercises when properly performed. 

Each set of repetitions should be followed by about a minute of massage and stroking. Always massage and stroke toward the heart. We do not believe in the practice of heavy, vicious massage. This isn't necessary. Massage should be for the purpose of aiding circulation and elimination -- not the breaking down of tissue -- leave this to the exercise which is the natural way. Repeat the sets within a few minutes of each other. 

Another very fine exercise is one in which you use either the lever machine or the "sliding post" (and by the way, every gym should have one of these conveniences). This is a very good exercise not only for the calf but also for the Vastus and Femoris muscles just above the knee. 

This exercise will work both the Gastrocnemius and the Soleus muscles (we are talking of the major muscles mostly in this discussion because the small minor muscles aid these major muscles in their actions and are thereby developed without without further thought on our part).  

Stand in the same position for the first exercise of raising on toes either against the "sliding post" or in the lever machine but instead of doing the simple raise on toes, go into a full squat on the toes and then raise as high on toes as possible, as shown in the far right photo above. You can also vary the position of the feet in this one. A few repetitions will demonstrate its effectiveness. Do as many sets of 15-20 repetitions as you feel the are needed to thoroughly work the calves. 




Now, if you have the time and energy we suggest that you do a special exercise for the Soleus muscle. Sit in a chair and lay a barbell across the knees with a pad under it to protect the knees. Then, with the block again under the toes raise up high on toes against the resistance of the barbell. This is an effective exercise. Do the same number of 15-20 repetitions as before and several sets as you feel the need. We have covered the question of sets in a previous article and will not go into it here except to state that you can handle more sets and repetitions on the calves than you can on most of the other muscles.     

This exercise can also be done with one leg at a time for better concentration. Change foot positions in this exercise also. 

It often happens that one can concentrate better and work a muscle more effectively if he works one limb at a time. To this end you may want to do the first two exercises on one leg at a time. It may be difficult for some of you to do the one leg squat on toes either on the "sliding post" or the lever machine as this style puts great strain on the thighs. 

A very good one leg calf exercise is a favorite of Sig Klein's. Hold a stein in one hand [yeah, yeah,  one legged calf raises, Klein's stein gradually gets lighter as the set wears on and he's stumbled onto the drop set.] Hold a dumbbell in one hand (beginners will not need weight), and place the other hand on a chair back or preferably against the wall so that you won't cheat by helping yourself. Now place the toes of one foot on a two-inch block and raise straight up and down on the toes. Be sure you don't sway. Here again you can slide against the post or a smooth wall. You can also change foot positions for this one. 

Another good exercise is climbing stairs. Its action is somewhat similar to that of the squat on toes. You should carry a bar bell on shoulders and start each step with the heel low and come up high on the toes as the leg is straightened. This gives full contraction. 

Now we should consider the other action of the Gastrocnemius muscle, that of flexing the leg at the knee. The most common exercise of this type is the leg curl and is best performed while lying on the abdomen. Weights should be tied to the TOES for resistance in this exercise. The weight is commonly fastened to the middle of the foot or instep but this  does not bring the calf muscles into complete action as strongly as tying the weight to the toes. 

If you have iron boots you should have a ring welded to the toe so a bar can be passed through to hold weights. This arrangement will give very effective exercise to the calf muscles as well as the muscles on the back of the thighs commonly known as leg biceps. 

In many gyms you will see the pupils doing these calf exercises on the leg press machine. This is a very effective method if you have such a machine. It does not allow one to cheat but forces all the action onto the muscles concerned. In order to use this machine you take up a position just as if you were doing a leg press. In fact you do a leg press then holding the platform at leg's length you raise it as high on the toes as possible. It is also helpful if you can use at least a two-inch block under the toes in this exercise. 

In the Ed Yarick gym on the West coast there is a special calf exercising machine constructed with a set of levers connected to a platform on which the exerciser stands. A weight is placed on a set of levers to act as resistance. Two handholds are provided for the bodybuilder to hold to. The platform acts somewhat similar to a treadle on a sewing machine so that the bodybuilder can get complete calf action against constant resistance. By reversing the position of the feet on the platform the bodybuilder can exercise the muscles on the front of the leg. 

   
                                                           Roy Hilegenn on another calf exerciser at Yarick's Gym. 

Some time ago our old friend Ian G. Batchelor who has a pair of huge calves built for himself a device from an iron boot for his calf work. He fastened an iron stirrup or U-shaped piece of strap iron onto the floor with the open end up in which two holes were bored. He also made a hole sideways through the boot near the toe end. He ran a bolt through both the U-shaped metal and the boot thus making a hinge of the boot with the toe end held high off the floor. He could step onto this boot and do his toe raises with hinged action. He was loud in his praises of this device. 

Some time before that the author had figured out another design with aa boot that worked even better. It is very simple. All you need is an iron boot and half of a round ball. Secure the half of the round ball to the sole of the boot under the ball of the foot. This device allows you to raise up on the toes from all directions. It also prevents any pain that might result from coming up on the toes. This was important because I have a broken toe from an accident that is quite painful in the toe raise and had prevented me from performing toe raises properly. The half ball on the bottom takes the place of the block and makes calf exercises more of a pleasure. 


Dick Bachtell has a herculean physique in every respect but he has always been noted for his fine calves 
which have measured 15.75 inches at a height of 5'3". 

Our good friend Jim Evans has suggested the use of a half of a croquet ball if no iron ball is available. He has also suggested the use of ice skates for calf exercises. Of course they would need some trimming and working over. May we suggest that roller skates could be used in the same manner with almost no change? 

Among sports we have found that bicycle riding is one of the best calf developers but not the ordinary method of riding. We refer to racing bikes where the TOE of the foot is strapped to the pedal and much of the motive power is furnished by PULLING the pedals around thus making it more of a leg curl as we know it. This motion works the Gastrocnemius muscles from both directions. Few of us have any opportunity to ride a bicycle in this manner so we will not consider it other than that it suggests the real value of the leg curl with weights tied to the TOES. It should always be done in the prone position if possible. 

Sprinters usually have good calves. The action is much like that of bike riding except the large extensor muscles of the leg are brought more into action. Mountain climbing is another excellent method of developing the calves but few of us have any opportunity to make use of it. It is very similar to stair climbing. In a general way we find that few men would want to take up a sport just for the sake of calf development, so we will give it little consideration in our present discussion. Barbell exercise gives us a much more direct and timesaving method. 

Now let's turn our attention to the front of the lower leg. 

We certainly don't want to neglect this part as a superb development here can enhance the beauty of the lower leg almost as much as the muscles at the back of the leg. We have always admired the development that John Grimek has secured here. It gives his calves a classical, finished appearance. 

                                                                                                   

The Tibialis Anterior or shinbone muscle is the main muscle in this area. When it is exercised you also affect the deeper lying muscles which act in raising the toes and front of the foot. This important Tibialis muscle can be developed by placing the heel on a two-inch block and raising the toes as high as possible. You can perform this movement with the sliding pole, the lever machine, or the Yarick calf machine. It is just the opposite in action of the raise on toes. 

You should avoid any sway or swing of the body in this movement. It may be a little hard at first to obtain a complete movement in this exercise because you haven't used this muscle over its complete range of movement. However, after working on it for some time you will have better success. This muscle is used to a considerable extent when walking down a steep hill and you will find it tiring from this sort of activity unless you are used to it. If you used weight for walking up a hill for developing the back of the calf you would develop the front equally coming back down. Few bodybuilders give adequate attention to this muscle and their calves look odd as a result. So let's bring it to maximum development. You will want to work up to at least 3 sets of from 15-20 repetitions. 

We can not forget to impart a bit of information given to us by that old timer, Arthur Gay . . . 


(photo circa 1917), who has operated a health studio for so many years in Rochester, N.Y. Art always had a pair of the finest calves in the country. It is possible that he inherited fair calves but it is also a fact that he developed them a great deal. He ascribes much of his development to rope skipping. He also tells us that he feels rope skipping is one of the best methods of developing stubborn calves. The author has never given this method enough of a trial to prove its worth but if Mr. Gay says it will work, then it must have value. 

If you try this method we suggest that you make the calf muscles work vigorously by using them to the limit. Use the thighs as little as possible. In fact, if you can make the jump with calf power alone, it will be better. This all depends on your bodyweight and calf strength. Some of the jumping can be done on one foot to make it more strenuous. 

Following along the same line, some men have used the jump similar the rope jump but with a light barbell across the shoulders. You will find that you can make short jumps and progress around the room or you may jump straight up and down always concentrating on making complete contractions of the calf muscles.  

There are, of course, other calf exercises but we have given you the best that we have discovered in the past 20 years and we are sure that you will find that they will give you a much better developed pair of calves if properly applied. 

This is where most bodybuilders fail. They do not consider the calves important and therefore do not give them the proper attention. The calf muscles require a tremendous amount of work if they are to be developed. Of course we do not intend that you shall use all the exercises enumerated above at one time, but we do suggest that you occasionally vary the exercises. 

For instance, choose two good exercises for the back of the calf and one for the front and work on them for about six weeks. Then a two-week layoff and choose two others or perhaps keep one of the former ones and change only one. 

We also suggest that you work up to about 4 or 5 sets of each exercise. Rest between each set and massage, knead and stroke the calf muscles [smoke 'em then stroke 'em], then do another set and so on until you are finished. 

Do all sets of each exercise before going to another exercise as this has proven to be the best method. 

Some fellows feel they should work the calves every day for best results, but we feel this is unwise. Three times per week is usually enough if you take heavy workouts. 

You may wish to vary the reps at times, sometimes doing 10 reps and at others 20. Also, you may find it advantageous to do as high as 10 sets at times, or 200 reps [total]. 

Walking has at various times been recommended for calf development, but although this may develop the calves slightly on those who are easy calf-gainers, it will do nothing but slenderize the calves of the stubborn type. We definitely do not recommend walking for calf development. Why not use the proven scientific method of weight resistance movements? 

The classic Goose Step on Toes. Jack Delinger . . . 




There is one exception that seems to work for some cases. This is very fast heel-and-toe walking with short steps for about a quarter of a mile. One should lift high on the toes and heels for complete action for results. 

In closing, let us not forget the double action the Gastrocnemius muscle has of both extending the foot and flexing the knee and remember to do some leg curls as well as toe raises. In doing the curls you get much better calf action doing them lying down than when standing. In fact the incline bench is very good for this exercise with the head at the top and the feet down as this gives resistance over a greater range of action. 

You may also find that you can rig up contraptions with your pulley weights to exercise the calves now that you understand the various muscle actions. 


Enjoy Your Lifting!    


17 comments:

  1. Hey Giveitaname, I haven't even read the article yet but I wanted to thank you for you uncountable years of effort with this blog. I've been reading it for so long I can't remember when I started. What you have done and continue doing matters so much to me, and I'm sure to a lot of other like minded silent readers. Thank you. I hope you are healthy and happy.

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    1. Aw Cripes . . . that's a nice thing to say and I THANK YOU. I'm in great shape for the shape I'm in and check in with my "self" now and then just to see what condition my condition's in. Right back at Ya . . . Live long and blister! No. Wait. Have a good One over there!

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    2. The sweet spot of it ALL appears to be doing what you enjoy when possible. No effort involved on my end, really. I like doing this!

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    3. I second (third, fourth) this. Dale's put together a fantastic resource with the site.

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  2. Stubborn! I love the sound of that word. Good article again from Peary that covers all the bases and shows how nothing, NOTHING (spoken in a DeNiro voice from The Untouchables) . . . has changed but the veneer conveniently applied to "old" ideas. Oh-oh . . . on a treadmill moving too fast, the sense of something ending forever, Run, Forrest, Run! Or perhaps, Rabbit, Run?

    Also, the movie "Eddington" was thoroughly enjoyed on this end. It's great to see films being made that take place during the mask-and-lockdown horseshite finally.

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  3. HEH...as one cursed with cartoonishly lousy calves on an overall lousy-for-naturally-building-even-average-mass body, and who's consistently prioritized calf workouts, trying for periods of consecutive months and even years at a time most every combo of weight, frequency, speed, volume, intensity, density, and movement, for over fifty years...and who worked them so intensely at times that I couldn't walk without pain for the subsequent two days...to the total result of 13 5/8" calves on 7 7/8" ankles (Grimek's WRISTS were 8" !!) at 5'8" height and 175 lbs in my lean prime:

    I add to the remarks in the caption regarding Hal Stephens, "It's not only what calf exercise you use, nor how correctly and determinedly you use it, but, most importantly, the genetics you inherited and how they respond to it work which decides your results."

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    1. Hello Joe! Generally speaking, this genetics thing has led me to believe black cowboys do not develop good calves. I think there's two basic types of calves . . . the diamond-type . . . and the lightbulb type. My least favorite type would have to be the very early implanted ones. You gotta admit they're funny in a sad way, sure, but then, this whole genetics thing is a lot like that, I think. Some sort of sad/funny joke doled out and why can't I have four arms, damnit!

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    2. Agreed, Dale. I've observed the same about cowboys, diamonds, and light bulbs since I turned the pages of muh first muscle mag in 1972. Poor Bill Grant, I've always lamented.

      My gene mix is primarily what used to be called, in th' days long before everyone became so snowflake-feminized-sensitive, "half-black" (Italian), but, I apparently inherited my dad's ease of getting suntanned without getting his average-sized calves.

      Paradoxically (I looovvvve when I have opportunities to inject words which make me sound highly educated to myself!!) to the black cowboy dilemma, after Steve-fucking-perfect-calves-Reeves, my two favorite physique contestants are bitter ol' Sergio at his 1972 Olympia condition and equally-bitter Harry Poole at his 1966 Olympia condition (my take remains that Weider wasn't personally racist, but knew which side of the dollar bill his sales were buttered on, so promoted white bread instead of wheat or pumpernickel bread; luckily for Weider, Oliva failed to come in at the '72 with a bit more definition, otherwise the judges would have been stuck awarding that Olympia to the less-marketable-for-that-era loaf). They, along with Chris Dickerson a few years later, had calves I would have given two of my four arms to walk on.

      But, yeah...now at age 69, I shake my head about all the many times I drove my wife of 45 years marriage insane when I'd exclaim, "Look at the diamond calves on that bastard, and it's obvious he couldn't care less by the condition of the rest of him!"
      Cuz' it's ultimately "ashes to ashes, calves to dust, whether they've been diamonds, light bulbs, or cartoon-toothpicks"...

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    3. Friend Joe, it's all about making new goals and setting them realistically when we become these old farts with somewhat gnarled views. I have a lat pulldown/row deal in storage and have owned it since the '80s. My goal has been to, of course, improve my strength and physique with it/her but that ain't-a gonna happen no more, not much if at all realistically speaking. So, my goal now is to get that sucker outta storage and back where she belongs at home, where I can continue attempting to wear out and break her cable with realistic exercising before my ticket expires. I figure I have another few years worth of ambitious goalsetting and step-by-step sane planning in me to aid me in accomplishing this most noble goal. Ain't reality just one big silly laugh! And it never grows old . . . no . . . wait.

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    4. Another goal of mine is to help people ease more gently into the anthropomorphic quality and inner content of all that exists here on Earth, the fluid change over time of "things" to "beings" as perceived by us humans and all that nonsense that occupies my time. Meh, it's a livin' . . . and then it ain't.

      NOW . . . how 'bout that guy cleaning with a "one arm between the legs" style? And people think I'M a crazy sonuvabitch. Go figure.

      Sometimes I long for the purity of drunkenness and responding to comments about "wrist size" and "possible gains" in foul, slovenly verbal ways. Such is life. Even though I find the response to alcohol and drugs is marked in its increase with this "punchiness" we all reach given that we live long enough, the quality of said highs are sadly lacking in import now. Damnable Old Farts Disease! But we abide, hold tight and hang on, no matter.

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    5. DALE,
      I consider myself EXTREMELY "gifted" now, as older age welcomes me.
      I have a traditional-school wife whose chosen to remain with me for forty-years. I have six adult kids, three sons and three daughters, plus their spouses and partners, each of with whom I have good relations and rapport. I have eight grandkids, ninth due in about a month, with whom I get to goof and joke and tease on a regular basis. Besides my joint problems - - mainly due to injuries and wear accrued from my years of roofer/builder self-employed contracting - - my blood pressure runs high (a genetic thing) for which I take my one and only med. But my health is otherwise great, and I can walk, talk, eat, sleep, piss okay. I can still heave some iron, and need walk no further than my convenient home equipment. I can still play guitar. I get a Social Security check each month. I have no house mortgage, no auto loan. My cupboards are always full, my utilities always paid up, my car able to travel 1,100 miles from mid-Tennessee to my hometown of Massachusetts to visit my still-witty-as-hell 94-year-old mom and a couple of my siblings and their families.

      My life at age 69 is ELITE, compared to 95% of the humans who've lived since whoever was the first.

      So, yep...sure, it'd been coooool, to me, to have been able to build a physique like Pandour or Billy Ralph or Reeves. But, in the long course of life, what I enjoy presently is worth all the wrists, ankles, and calves in China.

      Your lat machine anecdote reminds me...I oughtta re-oil the pulleys and cable on the one attached to my outdoor power rack. I don't use it often for pulldowns (I've always preferred pull-ups) or pressdowns or cable rows, but do regularly for a seated (not prone, seated) leg curl unit I concocted by modifying an old leg extension bench.

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    6. Sounds like all's well on that end so far and your Yay and Whoopee gift list of "good" life-things are fulfilling for you. Everything but the "pictures of my grandchildren" there, Joe. Hope you're enjoying it!

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  4. "I have a traditional-school wife whose chosen to remain with me for forty-years." Right off the bat you had me there, had me thinking of ways to off myself should I ever wind up in that situation. The family stuff solidified my view. But then, to each human idiot his own, and I am one of 'em.

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  5. That errant hyphen was intended to precede "five", to type "forty-five".
    The randomness o' life introduced her to me when I wasn't really searching for more than a sex partner. I discovered I actually liked her.
    Unlike all the "strong, independent women who don't need no man for nothin'!" whom I observe being the norm of most women under age 55 today (and whom I wouldn't partner with for all the elite calve genetics in China) , she's been supportive of me and my goals through our marriage; she'll express her opinion, but ultimately follows my decisions and my lead. Never a "dumb doormat" but never a "nagging boss babe". A stay-at-home mom to our six kids (incredible cook and baker).

    And, she hasn't stayed with me for any religious reasons (she's a non-believer same as me) nor for my money or resources (which would be possible only if I had any, which as a chronically-one-step-from-the-poorhouse bastard, I've never had had).

    Most guys don't get that winning of the roll of the dice, I'm aware.

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    1. We can create a training routine of sorts from the description of your wife, Joe! Hey, I'm just foolin' around here. Having a solid wife with you is a whole other world . . . I had two and they're both dead. Oopsie.

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    2. Dale,
      What fun would life be if two guys can't taunt and cut on each other?
      Thank the impassive deities, the strict teachers, and the kick-in-our-ass dads who gave us metal for backbones, not the snow too many of these young feminized guys have been given by pussified, speech-policed society.

      Did I type that? My constantly-growing intolerance of social intolerance is showin'. Again.

      Yeah, I remember what you told me about losing your two wives. I can't compute that level of loss. I admit, I don't even wanna try to.

      And, gotta give you credit, my friend - - obviously, two good women found you to be a man they wanted to stay with. I consider myself unfathomably lucky to have met even one woman who thought so of me.

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    3. Thank God for women with poor taste in men alright! Hahaha, no, it wasn't that. Are there still a lot of restrictions on what we're supposedly supposed to say, write, laugh at, cry about, etc., etc.? I lost track after it repeatedly put me to sleep. All those "tips" and "instructions" on how to be a good modern human seem to fall on deaf ears over here. Must be part of growing older.

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