Tuesday, July 18, 2023

On Training Partners -- Giveitaname a.k.a. Dim Witt

I had a training partner named Clark Kent for a while but I don't think he was really putting out.

The man did not sweat.

Now and again he would rise off the gym floor and say, "Oops" then come down and settle back in with the 20 lb. dumbbells. His gym membership was eventually canceled after numerous washroom incidents involving shattered standup pissers. The guy used a file on his privates in the shower.
We went for a few cold ones after a workout and this one just didn't seem to get drunk, even after three kegs at a single sitting. I became wary of this Kent.
Women told me things about him.
I recommended "letting loose" and entering a powerlifting meet, but his fear of something called "kryptonite" overwhelmed him to the point of near-inaction. Juice monkeys would attempt to peddle their anabolic wares to the fellow and he'd laugh uncontrollably.
One night, our final session together as training partners, he became inconsolably depressed and dejected . . . "they're all nothing more than insects" or some such thing, and he kept going on and on about it. I sure hope he's well and has finally found a place where he fits in naturally with no disguise . . . and don't we ALL wish for same?





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13 comments:

  1. At th' opposite extreme...I've avoided training partners ever since this guy in the foreground asked "if I wanted to work chest and back together" when we happened to arrive at the gym same time one afternoon. Here, while casually chatting with an apparent buddy of his who was almost as strong who'd already begun a workout, he's doing his "finishing" bench press set of 20 reps:

    https://www.bench-press.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/how-much-can-captain-america-bench-press.jpg

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  2. I briefly trained with friends couple of times, but it never felt right. Unless they are there to support you and do the same schedule/exercises, it's a bit pointless. If you are going to have one, make sure it's a good one. Yesterday in a southeast Asian country, a fellow who is apparently famous there, got killed while squatting. The partner and spotter were too weak to lift up the barbell...

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    1. Good riddance and here's to culling the herd of halfwits too stupid to train safely. Hey, I haven't worked out with anyone since high school and don't like it at all. Gimme the solitary, the solitude and the peace of mind of not having some sweaty boob stuck to my hip like a leech.

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    2. Anyhow, I hope you all like that big black box at the bottom of this post! It contains the unheard comedic responses that are waiting to be stated soon . . .

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    3. Okay, here's our hero. https://www.news18.com/world/indonesian-fitness-influencer-dies-in-freak-gym-accident-after-210-kg-barbell-falls-on-his-neck-8399287.html What in hell do they mean by a "squat press" he was attempting to do? We demand humiliating video of another fitness influencer suiciding himself because his six pack wasn't up to snuff and he wasn't getting enough clicks!

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    4. The problem stemmed from him not having enough weight on the bar and too many spotters.

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    5. I think the weight was, strangely enough, on his neck and not a little lower on his traps. Once it bent his neck, there was no way he could throw the weight back behind him!

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    6. The idiot spotter had a big role in it once he started falling backwards; not a clue what he was doing. Problem coulda been solved with more weight on the bar, worse technique and three more bad spotters. This kid had a huge number of followers and was known in his part of the world as an excellent and inspiring personal trainer. Kinda tells ya something about humanity now, don't it just! Anyhoo, seeing as he was what's termed an "influencer" (don't ya love this crap), I wouldn't be surprised to find others doing the same thing. "Okay, that's way WAY more weight than I can handle today. Now, lemme just bounce it up and down on my traps and neck before I squat instead of actually bracing for the effort, and make sure not to pay any attention whatsoever to breathing and breath control . . . etc., etc., and there's basically a list of how-not-to's in that one short video. So, I guess this fella did in fact show people how to squat heavy with a strange form of reverse learning. Kudos to the stupidity!

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    7. Just a guess, but this dead kid strikes me as the kind of trainer who frowns on dynamic lifting and Oly-style movements. "Them are dangerous!" Right.

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    8. No matter . . . he was no Clark Kent, gentlemen.

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  3. If this doesn't sell proper squat/power racks with safety bars than I don't know what will.
    What would I know though, I work out alone in my garage as well, no videos, no social media and no spotter-bro trying to bum me whilst I squat.

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    Replies
    1. Here's the uncensored "squat" from some other tube boob. Hey, I've worked out alone for many decades now, and have yet to have a problem with squats. It takes all of 20 minutes to teach a chimp how to dump a bar when a squat goes off the track. And that's without offering him a banana reward! Hate me if you like, but I sure do enjoy seeing one of these pretty boys get hurt.

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